National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day~10-16-13

Today, October 15, 2013 is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day.  Each year since 2010 I have lit a candle at 7:00pm.  Everyone is encouraged to do the same,  leaving the candle lit for at least an hour.  That way, a "Wave of Light", circles the world.  I had a miscarriage at almost 10 weeks.  April 9, 2010.  The pain of my loss has lessened across time.  I still have moments of "what could have been".  I miss what could have been.  I feel so alone in my feelings,  but I know that there are MANY who have experienced the same loss.   So tonight, I don't feel so alone.

February 2nd, 2012

I ordered this from Auntie Gina's Gifts on Facebook. I had her make this "Nestlace" for me. The white "egg" is in memory of our Baby Bunny. The "egg" directly above it is for my 21 year old. The remaining two are for my littles, ages 7 and 5. I love it.

The Lord Giveth and The Lord Taketh Away.

On Easter Sunday, April 4th we began to lose our baby. What devastation. We went in on April 8th and had a ultrasound. Sadly there was no heartbeat. I felt as though I had been kicked in the stomach. My mind shut down. Numbness followed. Our Dr. was very sweet. He shared that he and his wife had experienced two losses. He stressed that our losing the baby had nothing to do with anything I did. Losses just happen. We chose to have a D&C on Friday the 9th. The hours and minutes before the surgery were agonizing. I am so thankful that the staff and my Dr. were so caring. It was over in about an hour. I feel as though I have a hole in my heart that is dark and lonely. I miss my baby. Baby Bunny is what we called him or her.
I know that God has a plan and a reason for every moment of our lives, I will cling tight to that fact. He will restore me.

This is the tree that we planted in memory of our Sweet Baby. It is a Crabapple. In April, the month of our loss it will have beautiful white flowers all over it. I also bought the Serenity Plaque to place at the base of the tree.

A New Years Wish Come True~3-29-10

One of my New Years wishes came true! Steve and I had been trying to get pregnant since September of 09'.
On Feb. 24th I took a pregnancy test. I thought I saw a line. Decided that it was my eyes playing tricks on me. I threw it in the garbage. Later on we were in the bathroom brushing the girls' teeth and I glanced in the garbage at the test and there was a line!!!!
On Saturday I picked up another test. I took it and gave it to Steve to read. He looked at it and said, "No, negative. Sorry." I took it from him and looked at it and didn't see a line either....bummer. I walked over to the front door and looked at it again. Well, there was a line. A faint line. I was so excited. I showed it to Steve, but he wasn't convinced!I had Steve go to DG to get a ClearBlue Easy test. I wanted to take it immediately but decided to wait. Steve took the girls with him to go get D in Springfield. I waited for about 4 hours. I was so nervous. I wanted it to be positive....and it was!!!!Steve called on his way home and wanted to know what the results were...I fibbed and told him it was negative. He was disappointed.
They arrived home around midnight. I was so excited to tell them the good news. I had typed up and printed out a letter for each of the girls and one for Steve.

This is D reading her letter.
She was so excited and gave me a big hug!
The girls, they were so tired!


And finally Steve, I handed the letter and the test to him and he was so shocked. So happy. The pictures were blurry because he was coming at me to hug me. Therefore the blur.












This was the letter and test.
















What an awesome day! Thank you God for giving us this beautiful gift!